Fearg on Fridays

In the past week two things happened that have been largely ignored by the press. Firstly we had a huge, organised terrorist attack last Friday which seems to almost have been edorsed by the media. And later that night I single handedly defeated terrorism.

The first of my weighty claims - The Attack.
Ok, so 31st October 2008 an entire generation of brainwashed youths prepare themselves to go out and spread a doctrine alien to these shores, demanding that thier requests be met in full for fear of criminal retribution. That is terrorism. People using fear (the fear of egg on your windows) in order to acheive their goals is terrorism. Trick or Treat? No different from the bloodiest fatwah you'll ever see. Ok a little bit different in execution (no pun you sicko) but in essence the same. Also, in this age of rampant paedophiliaphobia (what a word) has noone pointed out that sending children round to people's houses offering 'tricks' is tantamount to pimping? A trick is slang for having sex for money "Turning tricks on the boat to Calais" Blondie.

Next my defeat of terrorism.
Alright. This one is simple. The act of terrorism is to strike terror into the hearts of your foe and use this fear to acheive your ends. Well all we need to do is stop being scared of them. If we turned into a bunch of nihilists that welcome death as part of life then they have no weapon. Equally am I the only one that feels our governments and media aren't helping the situation? They seem complicit in keeping the population as scared as humanely possible, whereas to me the most logical answer to terrorism would be raising people's spirits. Also, the moniker terrorist plainly supports their aim. I know that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but really if you brought you girlfriend a bunch of Vadgejuicers is she going to be smiling? So why not re-brand terrorists with a less fearful name, like cutesypies? "There has been an attack by the cutesypie group." Instantly I'm less petrified, more tickled.

Final though on the subject - What do you call Osama bin Laden's spunk?

TERRORGISM!

Goodnight Seattle.